1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,900 And for outstanding performance by an actress in a leading role, the award 2 00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:07,000 to Sybil Sheridan for Scent of a Man. 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,280 I won! 4 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,500 Oh, right! 5 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,440 Oh no, darn it! I'm dreaming. 6 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:15,780 Are you sure? 7 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:17,280 Well, I'm naked, aren't I? 8 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:23,620 It's that stupid dream from high school, where I'm naked in homeroom or algebra 9 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,020 class, or in front of the entire student body at the homecoming game. 10 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:28,700 No, wait. 11 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:29,880 That actually happened. 12 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,320 So this is a dream. 13 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,060 Well, that explains how all these dead celebrities happen to make it. 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,400 Listen, there's just a few seconds before I wake up. 15 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,580 This may be as close as I ever get to that award. 16 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,520 I'm going for it. 17 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,940 No problem. Just dreaming. 18 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,140 Oh, no. I'm waking up. Quick. 19 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,660 Toss it. Toss it. Toss it. 20 00:00:56,860 --> 00:00:58,540 Damn. so close. 21 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,800 Well, I'm still sleepy. 22 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,340 Maybe I can get the dream back. 23 00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:15,320 The award goes to... goes to... goes to... 24 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,060 Anna Thompson! 25 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:21,740 Whoa! Nice butt, Emma. 26 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:34,990 Nice work if you can get it. And if you get it, won't you tell me 27 00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:35,990 how? 28 00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:42,210 So Emma Thompson got best actress and you got nothing? 29 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,130 Nothing. And I was really mad. 30 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,630 So Streep and I egged her Porsche. 31 00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:51,310 And where was I when this happened? In the bathroom with Tony Curtis. 32 00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:54,130 Again? 33 00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:57,970 in your dreams. 34 00:01:58,610 --> 00:02:00,770 I didn't have a dorsal fin this time, did I? 35 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:06,030 I've been having these dreams every night since I got fired from Lifeform. 36 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:09,449 I'm obviously having some anxiety about my career. 37 00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:13,230 Oh, Sybil, something will come up. Remember when you lost your recurring 38 00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:16,630 Richie Brockleman Private Eye? You thought you'd never work again and then 39 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:17,910 Joanie loves Chachi. 40 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:21,530 You're right. 41 00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:24,190 Darling, you need to pamper yourself. 42 00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:29,170 A nice steam bath of facial, and then a rub down from some glistening swede with 43 00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:30,170 no body hair. 44 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,310 Hey, we'll do it today. 45 00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:33,630 What about your appointment? 46 00:02:34,550 --> 00:02:39,030 What appointment? Oh, no, you are not putting off your mammography again. You 47 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:41,550 already missed your late 30s baseline mammogram. 48 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:47,450 I'm dating a doctor, and he doesn't suggest mammograms for any of his 49 00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,710 He's a vet. His patients are poodles. 50 00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:52,959 That's right. 51 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,580 And they have way more breasts than we do. 52 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,740 Besides, I have a date with the new Dr. Richard tonight. And if he's a good boy, 53 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:03,760 I'm going to let him jump up on my bed. 54 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,280 Wait a minute. 55 00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:09,500 Last week you were going to dump him because he had the same name as Dr. 56 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,200 And now you're ready to do the monkey dance with him? 57 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,900 How did it get this far without me knowing? 58 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:19,730 It's just that things haven't been going that well for you lately, and I didn't 59 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,050 want my good news to depress you. 60 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,270 Why would I be depressed? 61 00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:25,410 Because you have a boyfriend and I don't? Because you're happy with your 62 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:28,310 whereas I was becoming a star and now they make me audition to answer phones 63 00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,310 telephone? 64 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:31,590 Marianne, hold me! 65 00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:36,170 Uh, excuse me, man in the room. 66 00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:40,450 Please refrain from using expressions like bloating and plastic applicator. 67 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,890 I have to go anyway. Cheer up! 68 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,140 Maybe Richard won't be what I'm expecting. 69 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,220 You know, I could be very disappointed. 70 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,880 Aw, you'd do that for me. 71 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,900 So, Kevin, it's just you and me. 72 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,640 Jobless and free. 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,320 Let's knock off the liquor store and escape to Arizona. 74 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:04,380 You drive, so I can moon the truckers. 75 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:09,080 Gee, can it wait until the weekend? I'm running a little late. 76 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:10,340 Where are you going? 77 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,320 Well, actually, I got a job yesterday. I'm teaching third grade at a small 78 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,040 private school. It's not at all what I was looking for. It's probably a bad 79 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,279 career move, but, you know. 80 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:19,920 No, it sounds great. 81 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:21,500 It is. I'm really sorry. 82 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,680 Stop it! 83 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,960 Why is everyone trying so hard to spare my feelings? 84 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,300 You never do that when I want you to. 85 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,140 Hey, Sid. Hey, Kev. Hey. Ira, what's up? 86 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,440 Well, I have some news. 87 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:36,980 Oh, not now. 88 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,360 Please. I am not a wounded bird. 89 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,360 Ira, just tell me straight out. Show Kevin how it's done. 90 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:50,440 Okay. I'm being audited by the IRS. And since we're married at the time, so are 91 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,440 you. 92 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:56,780 See? 93 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,460 Hey. Hey. 94 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:05,140 Where's Mom? I thought you guys were working on your audit. We broke for 95 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,360 See, I explained some of my deductions. 96 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:09,950 She explained that I should have a little snack and die. 97 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:13,650 I'm paraphrasing. 98 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:16,430 Are they going to repossess your house? 99 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,910 Because I thought I could maybe live in it while you're in prison. 100 00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,430 Be strong, Zoe, for me. 101 00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:23,810 What's in the box? 102 00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:28,750 Some of Mom's stuff. She was throwing it upstairs, and I took it by mistake when 103 00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,270 I moved. I thought it might have some of her records in it. Did you look? 104 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:34,550 And become part of your nefarious tax evasion ring? 105 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,160 I've never seen that box before in my life. 106 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:42,680 By the way, this conversation never happened, Mr. Woodbine, if that is your 107 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:43,680 name. 108 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:46,220 No, no records, just some old pictures and stuff. 109 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:51,020 Whoa, here we are, my cousin Artie's wedding in 1977. 110 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,980 Oh, man, look at your suit. 111 00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:58,060 And your hair, who are you trying to be, Ira X? 112 00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,080 Yeah, I wore it big in those days. 113 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,080 And did anyone tell Mom the 60s were over? That granny dress makes her look 114 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,380 huge. That isn't the dress, honey. 115 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,440 It's you. 116 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,360 Oh. 117 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,660 Well, it's the only way I ever would have been seen with you people. 118 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,460 Mr. Woodbine, Brad Mark, CPA from Farmer and Frank. I'm here to work with you on 119 00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:26,480 an audit. Am I glad to see you. Come in. 120 00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:29,300 Zip, pad, work your magic. 121 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:32,870 Hey, Pete. Don't worry, Mr. Woodbine. I haven't lost an audit yet. 122 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:34,170 Well, I asked around. 123 00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:37,470 They say you're the best. Because I focus on each case completely. No 124 00:06:37,470 --> 00:06:41,850 distractions. I don't chat. I don't schmooze. I don't laugh. Which means 125 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,970 have to put these pictures away. 126 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:49,350 Hey, Dad. Oh, I'm sorry. Zoe, this is Brad Marks, my CPA. 127 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,430 Brad, this is Zoe, my deduction. 128 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:56,790 Hi. Oh, my God. 129 00:06:58,390 --> 00:06:59,550 Is... Is he okay? 130 00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:02,790 Honey, you need to leave now. 131 00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:06,550 Brad, come on, boy. No distractions. 132 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:08,450 But she's an angel. 133 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:12,430 Don't do this to me. I'll never make it in the big house. I'm too pretty. 134 00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:19,770 And for outstanding performance by an actress in a leading role, the award 135 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:24,330 to Sybil Sheridan for Her Left Foot. 136 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,880 Okay, even I can tell it's a dream. 137 00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:34,020 All right, here I go. 138 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,100 I made it. Gimme, gimme, gimme. 139 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:45,480 Oh, wait. 140 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,840 This isn't right. 141 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,400 Fine, I'll take it back. 142 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,920 No, no, no, I was daydreaming. 143 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:56,380 And you were just about to give me the award for best actress. 144 00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:01,080 Really? Did they like me? Did they really, really like me? 145 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:07,220 I don't remember much, except that you did a singing tribute to the Baldwin 146 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,220 brothers. 147 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,280 That is so weird. 148 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,380 I have the same dream all the time. 149 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,980 Richard, I can't hear you. What did you say? 150 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,380 Oh, well, if you can hear this, I'll see you tonight. 151 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,120 or a chin like Patton? 152 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,919 I've been told both, you know. 153 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:37,740 Did you and the distinguished doctor play hide the weenie last night? 154 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,380 It didn't happen. 155 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:45,500 He had to assist in the delivery of a baby elephant at the zoo. 156 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,180 Oh, charming. 157 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,480 In a doctor -y sort of way. 158 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:53,380 I'm ashamed to say that due to the fact that the former doctor dick. 159 00:08:56,490 --> 00:08:58,570 to break his promise to me and God. 160 00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:00,650 I followed him. 161 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:04,710 Marianne, you stalked the good dick? 162 00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,270 I'm not proud of it. 163 00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:12,170 But when I saw his arms and shoulders disappear into the back of that 164 00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:15,330 I wanted him right there. 165 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:22,090 For future reference, next time you tell that story, just say we had a date, he 166 00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:23,090 had to go to the zoo. 167 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:26,640 So how is your mammogram? 168 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:27,900 How is the audit? 169 00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:30,700 You didn't do it, did you? 170 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:34,680 Well, last night was supposed to be special, and I didn't want it on my 171 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:38,200 Marianne, I know you're nervous, and with your family history, that's 172 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:42,060 understandable, but it's all the more reason to do it. Okay, okay, you're 173 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:43,640 I'll go tomorrow. 174 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,400 Good. 175 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,780 Make the appointment right now. I said I'd go. 176 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,440 That should satisfy you. 177 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,580 I need something a little more binding. 178 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:54,819 Pinky swear. 179 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:58,500 Oh, that was ridiculous. And I'll thank you very much to treat me like an adult. 180 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,800 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to tinkle. 181 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,400 Aha! I knew it. 182 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,060 This is avoiding, not tinkling. 183 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,000 Sybil, please. 184 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:24,300 It's my life. Stop controlling it. That's not what I'm doing. I'm your 185 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,640 care about you. I know what you're doing. Now that you're out of work, I've 186 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,080 become your little project. 187 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,040 Sybil, if you need to take care of somebody so much, start with yourself. 188 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,040 job. 189 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,080 Ouch. 190 00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,080 Where'd that come from? 191 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,640 You need to back off, Sybil. Stop nagging me and find something else to 192 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:44,900 because right now, you're a big pain in the ass. 193 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,440 Yeah, well, I... 194 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,520 Stuff I could use against you and left the rest. 195 00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:03,740 More in the cart. 196 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,080 Do you need help? I could help. Please, let me help. 197 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,280 Okay. 198 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,400 Um, Bill, right? 199 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,380 That's fine. 200 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,880 So, we lose everything to the IRS. 201 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,280 You can't take it with you, right? 202 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,020 Ira, I'm in no mood. 203 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,400 I had a huge fight with Marianne. And she went out of her way to really hurt 204 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,740 And all I was doing was trying to get her to take care of herself. And I was 205 00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,320 totally right and she was totally wrong. 206 00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:31,130 Yeah. Sort of makes the daughter thing seem like nothing. 207 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:34,730 No, I've got enough mad to handle both. 208 00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:39,090 Okay, listen. I promise I won't make you pay for any of my stupid mistakes. 209 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:40,850 Deal? 210 00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,170 Deal. 211 00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:46,070 Look at all this stuff. 212 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,610 Candles, incense. 213 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,890 Jonathan Livingston Seagull. 214 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:55,550 I love this book. 215 00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:58,790 It was a deep, lasting spiritual awakening. 216 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,680 And it was really short. 217 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,400 My God, Sybil. Is that hash? 218 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:05,840 Let me see. 219 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:10,540 Not the tootsie roll. 220 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:14,920 These things last forever. 221 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,740 Look at all this stuff. 222 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,940 Tickets up to Rocky. Why'd you keep these? 223 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,340 I don't know. 224 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,800 Oh, probably because I tried out for it, remember? 225 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,240 Excuse me? 226 00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,380 But I got you the audition. 227 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,800 And you drove me to the casting office. 228 00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:31,620 It was so sweet. 229 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,980 And I was such a wreck. 230 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,800 Oh, Ira, I'm not dressed right. 231 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,160 Why? 232 00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:40,380 Adrian's supposed to work in a pet store. This is earthy. 233 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:41,939 You're shaking. 234 00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:42,980 I'm a little nervous. 235 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,100 It's my first big movie audition. 236 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,620 Oh, Sybil, it's no big deal. Besides, you're exactly what Stallone's looking 237 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:52,680 for. At least I think you are. I mean, I'm a tax attorney. I love the guy. But 238 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:53,860 you can't understand a word he says. 239 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,480 I have to get back to the office. 240 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,920 Maybe later we can grab a quick dinner and get married. 241 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:02,620 Ira, I've told you already. I'm never getting married again. 242 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,160 It's not my thing. 243 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:05,780 But I love you, baby. 244 00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:08,100 I want to be next to you. Always. 245 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,480 Don't go all Barry White on me, okay? 246 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,099 All right. 247 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,000 Dinner at least? You got it. Oh, good. And don't get nervous. 248 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,820 You'll be great. Want to go over your lines one more time? Okay. 249 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,019 Ready? Mm -hmm. 250 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:20,280 Adrian. Rocky. 251 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,340 Adrian. Rocky. 252 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,120 Adrian! 253 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,460 You're right. This movie sucks. 254 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,060 See you later. 255 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,220 Hello? 256 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,980 Rocky... Auditioning place? 257 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:50,840 I really don't know. 258 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:56,460 Well, I'm sorry. I only answered because there's nobody... He just... 259 00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,630 I stepped out for five minutes to grab a sandwich. 260 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:03,170 Why? 261 00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:07,530 Because the phone's been ringing off the hook all morning and she hasn't even 262 00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,410 had a chance to pee, so get off her back, Wayne. 263 00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:14,150 Thank you so much. You're welcome. 264 00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:16,530 You handled that just as I would have. 265 00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:19,410 Of course, I'm a temp. We're trained not to care. 266 00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:24,270 Do this. Why? Do I have lipstick? 267 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:25,990 I knew it. 268 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,319 face commercial. 269 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,160 Your teeth are so clean. 270 00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:32,820 Face clean. 271 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,840 Okay. I like you. 272 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,000 You go to the head of the list. 273 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,720 What's your name? 274 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,460 Sybil Sheridan. Sybil. 275 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,720 I'm Marianne Thorpe. 276 00:14:44,020 --> 00:14:47,540 Hi. Hi. Have a Tootsie Roll. Oh, thanks. 277 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,440 I'll take a few for later. 278 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,420 Is that your boyfriend? 279 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,100 Oh, no. It's my husband. 280 00:14:56,670 --> 00:15:00,530 He's in med school, which is why I'm working my fingers to the bone. 281 00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:05,310 Are you married? 282 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,210 Once. I caught him cheating. 283 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,290 Oh, no. What did you do? 284 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:12,190 I threw him out of a moving car. 285 00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:13,490 No. 286 00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:17,110 He's a stud man. He talked, he rolled, he was home before I was. 287 00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:21,170 So I figured nothing's going to kill this man. I'm going to have to divorce 288 00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:22,410 Oh, I'm so sorry. 289 00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:25,930 Don't be. I learned my lesson. I'm totally over it. Good for you. 290 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,240 It's terrible how some women can't let go after a divorce. 291 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,340 They just get obsessed and do the craziest thing. 292 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,460 Name? Dick Thorpe. 293 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:38,520 Dr. Dick, huh? 294 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:41,880 That's funny. 295 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,060 Of course, I could never call him that. 296 00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:46,440 That would really make him mad. 297 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,500 Yes, 298 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,100 Mr. Stallone? 299 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:52,980 What? 300 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,720 You're giddy? 301 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,080 You want to go steady? 302 00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,360 Oh, you're ready. 303 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,560 Okay, 304 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,120 sir. I'll just send the first one right in. 305 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Okay. 306 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,200 I pick you. 307 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,080 Yikes. Hey, just be yourself and say yo a lot. 308 00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:18,700 Are you having any fun? What you getting out of living? 309 00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:25,260 What good is what you've got if you're not having any fun? 310 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:30,520 Oh, I was scared. My grandmother used to sing that to me. How do you know it? My 311 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:31,880 mother used to sing it. Really? 312 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,160 To herself. 313 00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:36,440 Well, okay. 314 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,360 Here I go. Wish me luck. 315 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:39,660 You don't need it. 316 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,200 Hey, wait a minute. 317 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,160 These actresses are all tall and blonde. 318 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:50,320 Hey, wait a minute. I specifically said, if they get married, you're going to 319 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,320 wear anything. 320 00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,670 Hey, listen. Just give me that woman from The Godfather, all right? 321 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,010 I'm sorry. 322 00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:08,150 Looks like you lost the part to Diane Keaton. 323 00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:13,069 Oh, hey, that's okay. 324 00:17:13,369 --> 00:17:15,510 You still got the squeakiest teeth in Hollywood. 325 00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,930 Thanks. For everything. 326 00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:19,310 Hey, no problem. 327 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:22,310 Good luck with the, uh, acting thing. 328 00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:23,489 You too. 329 00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:24,790 It's a Dr. Dick thing. 330 00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:27,139 Dr. 331 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,200 Dick. 332 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,300 Hey, Marianne. 333 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,080 Why don't you let me take you out to lunch? 334 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:40,860 You haven't even finished your sandwich. 335 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,320 Oh. 336 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,180 Well, yeah, okay. I can call from the restaurant. 337 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,360 Yeah, come on. We'll get a burger and a beer. 338 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,600 Oh, I don't know. 339 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,520 I'm not much of a drinker. 340 00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:04,270 If I were talking to you, I would tell you how much I hate you for forcing me 341 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,270 come here. 342 00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:06,870 Don't care. So there. 343 00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:11,810 I can't let them put my breasts in one of those flattening machines. 344 00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:15,930 What if they don't pop back? 345 00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:21,970 Emily. No, you are having your mammogram. 346 00:18:23,530 --> 00:18:26,550 I can't handle it. 347 00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:30,060 Radiation? Chemotherapy? Whoa, slow down. 348 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,400 Nothing's happened. 349 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:34,840 What if something does happen? What if everything's okay, which it probably is? 350 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,820 Sybil, my aunt had it. 351 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,460 My grandmother had it. 352 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,560 That's why we're here. 353 00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:47,000 You know, but I'd really rather not know. I mean, what would I do? 354 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,700 And what would my new Richard think of me? 355 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,320 Marianne, I hope it works out with Richard. 356 00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,440 But you know who's going to be here? 357 00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:57,110 No matter what? 358 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,770 Me. Oh, please. 359 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:04,910 I've had two husbands, and I don't know how many boyfriends come and go. 360 00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:10,970 I've seen my children grow up and move out and move back in again. 361 00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:14,550 Through it all, you've been there for me. 362 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,670 Since the first day we met, remember? 363 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:21,310 Wait a minute. 364 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,130 You know what? 365 00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:36,770 You're going to be taking care of me when I get old. So you have to stay 366 00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:40,130 and strong. So after the mammogram, we're going to the dentist. 367 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:46,530 And then Thursday, we have the eye doctor, the bone density exam. 368 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,460 And intestinal screening. 369 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,520 Then I got a ticket to Shoba. 370 00:19:54,840 --> 00:20:00,220 You know, I said some horrible, spiteful things to you. 371 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,620 And you came back. 372 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,400 Thank you. 373 00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:12,720 Mrs. Thorpe? 374 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,700 I'm scared to death. 375 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,320 I'm coming with you. 376 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,320 Are you having any fun? 377 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:31,660 Once you get 9 -11, what good is what you've got if 378 00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:34,340 you're not having any fun? 379 00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:41,700 And I would like to thank you all for making this the best dream I've ever 380 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,100 I want to start off by making amends to Emma Thompson for trashing her car. 381 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:47,880 But it was Streep's idea. 382 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:53,120 I first decided I wanted to be an actress in high school. This could take 383 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:56,520 while. It's a dream, so there's no time limit on the speech. 384 00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,500 Patrons go with your mammogram. 385 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,660 Oh, you know about that? 386 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,100 Not in real life. 387 00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:05,140 Nobody tells me anything in real life. 388 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:10,540 It was negative in real life. Oh, good. Oh, I'm so relieved. 389 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:11,760 So is Steve. 390 00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,220 Any audit? 391 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,580 I owe $8 ,000. 392 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,760 She doesn't have to pay any of it. Really? 393 00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:19,180 In her dreams. 394 00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaking of which, you'd think after three or four of these, she'd put me in 395 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,800 different dress. 396 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,260 Yeah, well, I just wish she'd stop dragging me into her little subconscious 397 00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:29,260 fantasy world. 398 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:34,520 Now I'd like to show you one unforgettable moment from my career. 399 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,980 In this now classic scene, I paved the way to happiness for Joanie and Chachi.